When you adopted your child you thought this is my child now.

We don't have to talk about the birth family, right?

Many adoptive parents would like to forget about the birth family and get on with their own family.  However, the birth family is a core part of who your child is inside. 

Or maybe you thought we can talk about the birth family with our child but they won't affect our relationship in anyway?  

Guess again. The birth family is like a ghost in your house in the background but you aren't always aware of how they are popping up in your current family.   

 

For example, your child won't go to bed.  You think this is a typical child not going to bed. But what you don't realize in their subconscious mind even, they may be thinking if I go to bed my parents may not be here in the morning. That is pretty scary. Would you go to bed?   There is a primal abandonment wound from the separation from their birth family (even if they were 1 day old when you adopted them).   There are things you can do to reassure your child they are safe. 

 

Now, if you weren't adopted those thoughts wouldn't enter into your brain, right?   So, as adoptive parents we need to be extra aware of these issues so we can help our children move through whatever is scaring them at the moment.  Most of the acting out behaviors are so they can feel safe.  But what most parents do is focus on the behavior rather than what is going on behind the behavior.   Let me help you demystify what is going on with your adopted child and give you the tools to help them learn coping skills for a lifetime!